breastfeeding is hard. i am super glad that i have make it through almost two months now. granted, i don’t exclusively breastfeed but i’m proud of myself still.

i tried bfing with all three of my kiddies. with faith, she would not take the bottle. at. all. that combined with the excruciating pain that i was getting from her not latching correctly was too much to bear. i stopped after 3 days. it was the opposite with jaelynn; she refused to take to the breast so i had to stop too.

the third time’s a charm or so they said i think. alex latched on correctly and because i had more help and support this time around. i bf’d him as soon as he was born and it got kinda painful so i didn’t want to continue. we gave him the bottle at the hospital and he refused to take it. at that time, we weren’t sure why he wasn’t taking anything from the bottle. the nurses thought he had a sucking problem since he wasn’t latching onto the plastic nipples.

i felt really bad that he wasn’t feeding so i decided to try bfing again. my nurse helped me. she got me all comfy, put him next to me and helped me latch him on. he latched on right away and perfectly. the nurse was amazed. she said she couldn’t believe he latched on so quickly and agreed that he probably didn’t like the plastic nipples. it was then that i made up my mind to bf him for as long as i could for as long as he wants to.

because he was jaundiced at birth, i had to supplement with formula and do also gave him the bottle. alex has no problem now going back and forth between the bottles and me. for that, i am just so greatful. i love bf’ing him but i get so exhausted sometimes. this combo help tremendously and is working out perfectly for us. another reason we’re doing a combination of bfing and formula is because i simply don’t make enough milk for the little guy.

the only thing that is at the back of my conscious mind is what will i do when i go back to work? how will i make it work? one thing is for sure, i’m going to miss my kiddies a lot, especially alex.